Retirement: Everyone  is surprised

 Newly-retired people get asked one question more than any other: “What’s it like to retire?” The Covid years gave many people a taste of how different it feels without the 9-to-5 commute, but it was just that, a taste. A hybrid work schedule has done the same thing. But once the real deal hits – true, see-ya-later retirement – the answer to the “what’s it like” question will include words and phrases like “freedom”, “no more grind” or “sayonara commute”. But those responses cover a more ambivalent reaction.

 It may take months - even years – before the enormity of the change begins to sink in. Most new retirees have followed a schedule for sixty years. Even with remote work, there was a rhythm. But once you walk out the door for the last time, work schedules are so much smoke. While some people embrace the freedom, others are terrified by the concept of a 'blank page'.

 And everyone is surprised by something.

 “There are people who thought they were all set for it, who discover it's not going at all as they had planned; that there is far more time to fill then they anticipated. If you don't initiate activities, you'll languish, quickly”.

 That’s one comment in a survey of recent retirees. The survey asked this question: “What surprised you about retirement?” The overwhelming sentiment: they were not prepared for it. Even if they thought long and hard about what they were going to do (or not do), “it’s not what you think it is”.

 It’s not, for instance, a string of long weekends. A former salesman and communications professional said, “Retirement is not about doing nothing! Activity becomes even more important – especially if you worked hard and happily at your job – because that time has to be replaced with equally meaningful, soul-pleasing pursuits”.

 The same sentiment cropped up from a retired accountant: “All the satisfaction of work has to be replaced somehow... projects, travel, something challenging”, while a retired teacher struggled with “… suddenly going from 100 km/h to 0, and having the sense that you are not doing anything useful. I was surprised at the boredom.”

Even for those who thought they had prepared, the sudden and dramatic shift away from a 9-to-5 culture was surprising in ways they hadn’t anticipated. A former senior manager said: “Know that ‘business’ social interaction is at end”.  That sudden withdrawal of workplace interaction was a bigger factor that people expected: “It’s really hard to keep in touch or keep up with friends you had at work, people that were such a big part of your life for many years.”

For some, their own reaction to the sudden change of circumstances was surprising. Take this revelation from a chemical engineer after 40+ years in the workforce: “(I was surprised by) how little the work that I put so much energy into mattered in my life. Although I busted my butt to finish projects and ensure that I had passed on all of my knowledge, the day after I left it was mostly gone from my head. New adventures had replaced it. Never looked back. I thought that I would miss it; I didn’t”.

Still others were surprised how long it took to get off the ‘work wheel’. A long-time senior manager said, “I worked as a consultant following my official retirement. In the beginning, I worked most of the time. But then there was a turning point. I just didn’t want to work any more – my leisure time had become too valuable. During this transition period I became angry and anxious – like I was resisting this change. I hated work. I hated not working. This lasted a few weeks and then, just as suddenly, everything changed. I accepted the change without any regrets and I just moved on. I now walk, run, bike, golf, read, travel and volunteer. I don’t miss work”.

 Often - and especially for those who identified strongly with work - the change was profound. A former journalist said, “People don't realize the degree to which one has to reinvent one's self. (You) don't entirely anticipate the sometimes subtle, sometimes pronounced psychological impact of losing a part of your identity that was so rooted in a job. That raises all sorts of issues about self-worth, particularly at a time in life when physically, one is seeing a decline, though hopefully not a dramatic decline.” 

That ‘decline’ caught some off-guard. Even for those in reasonably good health, it’s one of the consequences of actually having arrived at retirement age. “I was surprised that I would start having older-people problems. At 65 I may be done with marathons. The arthritis in my knees, the atrial flutter, hernias and general loss of mobility creep up on you. You need to get after the more active retirement adventures quickly because you have no idea what will happen with your health”. And, “You spend more time than you ever imagined taking care of your health, staying in shape, going to doctors, physio etc”.

 A prevailing sentiment in the survey: times flies, much faster than expected, especially given that people are more aware of mortality the older they get. “You realize that for a lot of the things you said to yourself: “I’ll do that when I retire”, you are no longer are interested in, or physically able to do, whether it’s books to read or things to do.”

 A former Deputy Minister was surprised by how much time it took to put her new life into perspective: “It takes a lot of time and energy, in a positive way, to actually live in the present, uncluttered by a million things that need to be done. There is a stillness about it that I have come to love. I can make myself a healthy breakfast, as opposed to eating in the car on the way to the office. I get to be a ‘present’ grandparent, without any regard for jobs I haven't done as a result of spending time with family. Most of all, I get to reacquaint myself with myself. Exploring likes and dislikes and filling my day with activities that challenge me in ways I have never experienced. It is a whole new kind of freedom that reminds me of my student days - selfish in a way, but unbelievably satisfying”.

 That self-reflection often leads to discovery. Aside from reconnecting with family and friends - often for the first time in a very long time - many retirees volunteer, sit on boards, mentor others, work part time or start a venture they’ve always dreamed about. “I was surprised at how rewarding volunteering could be!,” said a former financial mediator. “I am so glad that I can use my skills & experience with an organization that really needs and appreciates my contribution. There are so many non-profits in Canada that are successful because of help from volunteers - especially those related to improving the health of Canadians, like Osteoporosis Canada, Diabetes Canada, and Heart and Stroke”.

Retirement surprises can be pleasant, or challenging, or both, and everyone finds that it takes time to adjust. “I suspect there are people who are nervous about the prospect [of retirement], who then find out that it's better than they thought; they are actually filling the time quite nicely and enjoying themselves.”

 And this unexpected anonymous capper: “Retirement means your mother still doesn’t know where you worked for 25 years - and now it doesn’t matter”.

 Tom New 2024

 The Canadian Life and Health Insurance Association Inc. (CLHIA) has a web/tablet/phone site called Retiring Soon? It addresses the concerns of people approaching retirement, with good links covering government benefits, workplace pensions and RRSPs. The site is well laid out, and there's no heavy-handed 'buy me' advertising.