Resolutions for writers who want to write good.

A recent headline from The Ottawa Citizen on-line: “No tsunami threat after Russia shook by moderate earthquake.”

We all know that English is a living, breathing language (metaphorically, if not literally). That’s why we turn nouns into verbs, and vice versa, sometimes overnight. We google. We gift. And we verbify to our heart’s content.

 There’s always been a school of thought – a lazy, tired school at that – that suggests you can use any construction you want; as long as a listener or reader knows what you mean, it’s all good.

 Not so fast, grasshopper. Often (pronounced off-en, not off-ten), new usage muddies the meaning of a word. Those of us who prefer to write with clarity have rules, those literal and/or figurative lines in the sand we will not cross. Well, literal if we were on a beach, but you get the drift.

 Moving forward, as I do whenever I walk or drive someplace, I offer some New resolutions for the New Year, and no, that ‘errant’ cap is not a slip of fat fingers.

 Here they is:

 I will only use whilst instead of while during high tea.

 I will not leverage anything if I can simply use it. I will only leverage something if I have to multiply its effects, or if there’s a fulcrum handy. If I intend to ‘leverage’ something, I will lever it instead. Otherwise, I’d be wastaging my time. 

Similarly, I won’t utilize something; instead, I’ll just use it. That way, it won’t sound like an invasive procedure.

 Once I learn how to write and perform music, I will not drop my first album, I will release it. If you drop an album, or a project, or a song, doesn’t that mean that you get rid of it? On the other hand, I guess I could drop a writ, although then I’d have to run for office.   

 I won’t take a decision anywhere, because I’m not sure that’s the end of it. Has a decision actually been made, or am I taking that decision to my boss or a committee to be confirmed? Maybe my boss will make the decision I took to her. Or something.

 I also won’t take a meeting, because people might be confused about where said meeting would be took. Are you taking it to the board room? Off-line? To the local park? Under advisement? Don’t know.

 Hang on a minute- let me take back ‘took’. I was confusing tenses, not to mention basic rules of grammar, most of which can’t be beat. Oh, I know what you’re thinking- if a grocery store can use ‘can’t be beat’ in its slogan, then it has to be okay. Which means even educated writers can use it without irony, or apparent awareness.

 I will not over-estimate what decimate means, nor under-estimate what exponential means.

I will avoid skill sets and price points - not to mention clichés - like the plague. (I know, it’s an oldie, but it’s a goodie.)

Quick hits: among and between are never interchangeable; amount and number are rarely interchangeable; and its and it’s is a minefield. Literally, figuratively speaking.

 Feel free to argue, correct my syntax or just quietly surrender to the inevitable.

 Tom New